Thinking of Mother
Tuesday, February 10th, 2009 by beckitrue | Uncategorized | No Comments
I continue to think of Mother and find that I miss her almost every day. I also sometimes forget that she is gone.
I scanned a picture that Vern has, and a friend of mine from work cropped it and did some effects to it. It is one of my favorite pictures of her and I’ve posted below. I think it captures her spirit and this is how I remember her. It helps me to miss her a little less.
Marti smiling
New Year’s Rememberance
Thursday, January 1st, 2009 by beckitrue | Uncategorized | No Comments
Today is New Year’s day, 2009. I just finished watching the Tournament of Roses Parade on television, and spent some time thinking of Mother. She loved watching the parades on TV and we would call each other during the parade and talk about the floats. Simple stuff, but the type of thing that keeps her in my memory.
We’ve just come through the holiday season, our first without her, and her loss is definitely felt. She loved the holidays and loved the traditions and loved visiting with family and friends. Today we would be eating ham sandwiches at her house. I’ll be going to her house today, but it will be to check on the cat while Vern is away.
I miss her often, but no more so than I have over the past couple of months. I compensate by continuing to be grateful for all the life lessons she gave me over the years. I can remember a handful of presents I got in my lifetime, but I remember the times we spent baking cookies, making Thanksgiving dinners, and eating ham sandwiches on New Year’s day.
Thinking of Mother
Friday, November 7th, 2008 by beckitrue | Uncategorized | No Comments
I’ve been thinking about and missing my mother a lot the past few weeks. I had a couple of recent success that she would have enjoyed hearing about. She would have been happy about the election results and would have been proud that we as a country were able to vote for an African American. I don’t know what she thought of Barack Obama specifically, but I do know she was all about evaluating people on merit not on race, gender, sexual orientation, physical ability, or wealth. She taught us to do the same.
One of my favorite family stories applies here. First some background information. Everyone in my immediate family grew up in Minnesota. There are not a lot of people that aren’t of Scandinavian or German descent, much less African – especially in the town where I grew up, Mankato. Mankato happens to be the site of the training camp of the Minnesota Vikings.
Now on with the story. Some time around 1966, when my sister was about 3, she and my mother went to the little store near our house. She ran into Carl Eller, a Viking and former college classmate (biology class if I remember correctly). Carl Eller is a huge man and he happens to be black. My sister couldn’t have come up to his knees. After my mother and Mr. Eller had been speaking for a little while, my sister interrupted their conversation and said, “But Mother, he’s black.” Mr. Eller laughed and picked her up and gave her a hug.
Happy Birthday
Wednesday, September 10th, 2008 by beckitrue | Uncategorized | No Comments
Happy Birthday Mother. I bet you’re having a great time.
We miss you here.
Mother’s school of management
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008 by beckitrue | Uncategorized | No Comments
One of the things that I’ve been thinking about lately is the management lessons I learned from my mother. I’ve recently taken on new challenges at work, and I’ve been reminded that one of my greatest leadership assets is my ability to respectfully and consistently hold people accountable for their performance and actions. I learned that skill from Mother.
When I was a kid, it seemed like I got a spanking every single day. That’s probably not true although I cannot say for sure. My mother always held us accountable and was very consistent in disciplining us. If she said to do something or to stop doing something, she meant it. We knew that if we ignored her, the odds were almost certain that we’d suffer the consequences. She didn’t have to repeat herself or threaten us. It was simply a matter of “do you know the rules” and “do you know what happens if you break the rules?” She was very clear connecting our actions and choices with the consequences.
One of the very few times that I can remember me asking her for something when she had already told me no, was when I was 4 or 5 years old. We were at the JC Pennys in Mankato, in the basement, in the checkout line. We were standing next to a bin of kid-sized baseball gloves and I asked her for one. My parents never had much money and I’m sure that’s why she said no. I was well aware that I wasn’t supposed to ask again, but I really wanted the glove, so I asked again. I’m sure it hurt her greatly to say no the first time, but this time she said yes. I was so thrilled to get that glove. By the time I was 10 the glove was barely large enough to cover my hand. I loved it though and played pick-up softball games and league games with it until I was in high school.
I never mentioned that story to her, but I imagine she had a happy recollection of that moment every time she saw me grab the glove on my way out the door to go play a game.
How to create a new posting
Saturday, August 16th, 2008 by beckitrue | Uncategorized | No Comments
Here’s a video that shows you how to create a new posting. It also shows you how to add a picture if you’re interested in doing that.
For those of you who prefer to read, go here to learn how to post. There are links to everything else you’ll need there too.
We’ll begin with the end
Saturday, August 16th, 2008 by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments
My mother passed away this Wednesday morning. Her cancer took a turn for the worse and she developed complications. She was in the hospital for 4 days last week and we took her home and did in-home hospice care until Tuesday. Tuesday afternoon we got her to the in-patient hospice.
My sister, Debbie, was visiting when my mother went to the hospital and did a great job of taking care of Mother until she had to go back home on Sunday. By then, we knew it was just a matter of time and there wasn’t much she could do but be with Mother. She had done so much more while she was here and my mother appreciated it.
Mother’s condition deteriorated rapidly in the past 2 weeks. We think it was caused by bleeding in her brain. Each day she had less function than the day before. Tuesday she couldn’t even speak. I was lucky enough to spend her last night with her holding her hand, trying to let her know that she wasn’t alone. She looked comfortable and didn’t appear to be in pain. She had very labored breathing due to the fluid in her lungs.
Tuesday morning her husband, Vern, came and and Mother appeared to wake up. He kissed her and went to the snack bar to get some breakfast. While he was gone, I tried to moisten Mother’s lips and she looked like she was trying to speak. I just told her that I knew what she was trying to say and that it was OK. I noticed her breathing got easier then stopped. I watched for her to take a big breath like she’d been doing through the night, but none came. We got the nurse and she said Mother was gone.
Many people were touched by my mother’s kindness and friendship. I created this site because I wanted give them a forum to share stories about her. I really encourage you to share any story you have because it will help her family and friends deal with her loss.
Thank you,
Becki